Day 5- Slightly Scattered..:)

Today was an awesome day.

I woke up and spent the morning and afternoon with my Dad. (sorry guys, but he's the best)

I spent the day running errands with him, and somehow between the two of us we were perpetually forgetting about some of the errands that we had intended on doing. We would go from point A to point C, and then remember that we had missed point B.  Either way, we managed to get everything done, and it was an extremely well spent afternoon.

One thing that neither one of us took note of today was time.  It was simple and refreshing.  When we would remember that we'd forgotten to make our way to point B, we would just continue on, and make our way back whenever we could.  I truly enjoyed his company, and I think he really enjoyed mine.

My Dad has an extremely relaxed personality.  He's never in a rush unless he needs to be, he doesn't take life too seriously, and he has an incredible ability to use silence to get through his seemingly jam-packed work days.  

After spending the the day with him, the point that I am trying to get at is, take time and use it to your advantage. Don't let it just pass you by while you're in a perpetual state of living in the future.

"What's next" isn't reality.

What is reality is the moment that you are living in.

I am guilty of letting some things in the future create anxiety in my present moment.  Often, I am forced to remind myself and acknowledge that I can set goals, I can define my purpose, and then the only other thing that I can do is my best to achieve my goals, and fulfill my purpose.  I can't just sit around an expect all of my goals to be achieved without my inner drive, and I can't expect my life to feel fulfilled by not working towards anything, but, I do believe that it is extremely important to take a step back sometimes, and embrace what we are doing in the present moment.  Embrace that you are working towards an accomplishment, embrace the time you spend reflecting on the person that you are, embrace the time that you have with the ones you love; whether it be family, friends, pets, games, whatever it is for you.

I have realized this week more than ever how much I miss my family and friends.  This visit home was extremely unplanned.  I booked my ticket and within 24 hours I was in my hometown. I was in a sticky spot in London before I booked my ticket.  My heart was saying "GO HOME" but my brain was saying "you can't afford to go home, you can't book the time off, you can't, you can't, you can't"....  As afraid as I was to go into my work and explain that I needed a break, I knew I needed it.  I felt like I was drowning myself in everything else, but I was not giving myself the attention that I knew I needed.  Sadly, things often have to reach a breaking point before we create the change, but it is these life experiences that force us to appreciate and embrace the good things that are at the tip of our fingers.

I can recognize that this post is incredibly sporadic, but there were a few thoughts brewing in my noggin, and at nearly 2am, I did my best to get them out.

The main points I was trying to address are: Live in the present moment. Embrace the good things that you have and avoid taking them for granted. And, Don't forget to listen to yourself, if you're feeling something, listen to it; and take action, or no action depending on the situation..:)

Is It Really Your Business? (Day 4)

For the past number of years in life, I have watched a few of my loved ones go through relationships that have been healthy, some not so healthy, and some somewhere in between.

At the end of the day, what have these relationships changed in my life?

Not a whole lot.  Some have created some good times, and some have created periods of worry and distress.  Either way, none of these relationships that I have seen have had a direct impact on my life for an extended period of time.  Maybe this sounds harsh, but it is true.  At the end of the day it is not about ME.  Instead it is about THEM.  We are all autonomous adults who are capable of making our own decisions. Just as I am capable of making my own decisions, others are too.

As long as the ones that I love are happy living the life that they consider to be fulfilling, then my opinion ultimately does not matter.  I will say this again, but if the ones I love are happy and confident in the decisions they make, then my opinion remains as just that.  If they're happy, then I am too.

Over the past number of years however, I have personally experienced criticism for some decisions that I have made. I have also seen some of my friends and family deal with criticism from the ones that supposedly love them for some of their decisions with regards to relationships.

Some criticism, granted.  But I think a lot of people are missing the fact that it is really not their business.  I have listened to others whine and complain about the relationships of others, but why? Is this relationship really worth it? Why are you bitching? If you're using the "but, I just hate seeing him/her do that to their life!" Stop.  It is their life.  They are capable to making their own choices and decisions.  This is how we learn and evolve into the people that we are meant to be.

So the next time you catch yourself bitching and moaning about someone else's life ask yourself why? It is really your business?

Life is what we make of it.

Day 2 of this 30 day challenge, and I have to admit, I am excited.

I am pretty pumped about all of this.

Today has been an awesome day thus far.  I woke up without an alarm, had some food and walked downtown.  Being home is nice.  Fredericton is a cute little spot.

For breakfast I had a melancholy of goods.  I had some veggies, an egg, a few grapes, some nuts... Oh the beauty of visiting family and scoping out a new fridge.

I had a conversation this morning that solidified some things for me.  I was talking about how I feel regarding certain areas of my life.  I was discussing how some of these areas create anxiety and don't seem to add any value in my life.  I was mentioning that I am planning on cutting out these parts of my life.  Initially I got a reaction that was along the lines of "you're running away" from these things.  For a quick moment a pit erupted in my gut. I felt weird.  Moments later, I realized that NO, it is not a cop-out.  Instead I am creating a life that I want.  I am choosing to keep the good in my life and also choosing to rid of the bad.

We are allowed to be selective.  What good are we to this world if we are perpetually feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled with our day to day activities?


With some explaining and an extended conversation, I felt like I was able to communicate my views.

Why should anyone live a life that is not fulfilling? Why should anyone continue doing the same day-to-day activities if no one is benefiting? Why should anyone lead a life that is full of stress and unhappiness to prove a point? 

Well,  that would not be Living. So no one should.

 We are human, and we are all entitled to finding our purpose, to living a life that is full of passion, love and excitement. We are meant to continue growing and learning as individuals.  We are meant to explore our minds and push our limits while maintaining integrity in the choices we make.

My purpose in life is to the the best version of me that I can be.  I am still trying to find that defined purpose, but I do know that I am on the path.

Happy Tuesday :)

Life By Design- 30 Day Challenge.. Count me in.

I have been MIA.. again.. Surprised? Well, you shouldn't be.

This is a long one, so be prepared...

The posts that will follow will not be this long, I just figured I'd offer a bit of a recap here.

I am back now though, and I am making the commitment to be here for at least the next 30 days.

Over the past year, I have been fortunate enough to cross paths with some pretty spectacular folks. The people that I am talking about specifically in this post are those who are Life By Design'ers...

 I could go on and on about how wonderful these people are, and how much I love hearing about the way they lead such AWESOME LIVES! They have a purpose.  I feel like they are helping me find mine.

One large component of Life By Design is "Eat By Design". and when I think back to the past couple of years of my life, I have been intuitively listening to my body, listening to my brain, recognizing what foods make me feel best and what foods make me feel tired, groggy, sad...

Without even knowing that this way of eating had a title, I adopted it.  I think that is pretty cool.  If we actually want to create change in our lives we have to listen to our bodies, we have to listen to the way we feel, and hone in on WHY we are feeling that way.  After honing in, I realized that cutting out grains, cutting out sugar, cutting out dairy were all things that were contributing to a lower quality of life.

Now, here comes a bit of a back story about me.  A little history lesson on Sandy.

This transition took me a long time of listening and addressing how I was feeling, and why.  It all started when I was with my ex boyfriend in 2007.  We ate junk food all the time, we watched movies all the time, we had enormous meals that were unhealthy... all the time.  Surely.. this lead to the two of us gaining substantial amounts of weight.  I put on a solid 30-40 lbs, and he matched that... and then some.

Things in our relationship started to go sour, he became depressed, and I felt like I was no longer desirable due to my weight gain.

I got a gym membership, and slowly... very slowly started to make some changes.  I jumped from one fad-diet to the next... but then after countless attempts of trying to listen to what OTHERS said I should eat, I started listening to what SANDY should eat.

This was a long, hard battle.  It was challenging at times. It led me to a few dark spots in my life.  It led to some interesting relationships with food, and it led to an interesting relationship with myself and my physical body.

Growing up, I was always teased for being chubby, I was teased because I had a crooked smile, I was teased because I could eat more toast in the morning than my older brother.  Moving into my early adulthood and trying to lose weight... I often went back to the feeling that I felt when I was a young girl.  I felt embarrassed, I felt alone, and I felt extremely unhappy with my body.

It has been a bit of a roller coaster, and well, its only recently that I am able and willing to talk about it.

Over the past few years I have dealt with incredible amounts of criticism.  Criticism from friends, family, and believe it or not, even strangers.  People looking at me and asking WHY do you eat that way? Why won't you eat "Carbs"? Why? Why? Why?

For the first while, I would succumb to this.  I would go ahead and eat it because I didn't want to seem.... anal.  After a while, I realized that it was not worth it.  When I would go ahead and eat things that I knew were not right for me, I would go home and suffer from it.  I would feel tired, I would feel uncomfortable, and I was never happy with myself afterwards.  So why continue doing it? Don't.  Simple.

As with many of my previous posts, I have explained that this past year has been a pretty interesting year of my life.  I have gone through a lot of transitions.  Some more challenging than others, but all of which are leading to a life that is even MORE AWESOME.

Being in a committed relationship for so many years of my life, and then being single for an entire year of my life has allowed me to focus more on me, and learn to love myself a lot more than I ever thought possible.  I am getting there.  I am starting to be OK with my own company.  Go figure.

Not only am I more OK with my own company, but I have also learned to make better choices with the people that I choose to keep in my life.  I am allowed to take time for me, and not feel obligated to others at all times. It has been a refreshing year to say the least.

With regards to food, I eat what I want, when I want it.  I eat real food.  I enjoy real food.  It makes me feel good.

Day 1 of the 30 Day Eat By Design challenge has begun.  Over the next 30 Days I will do my best to be more technologically savvy and throw in some pictures of what I will be eating, and how I will be Thinking, and Moving By Design.

Oh Yeah- and Thank you Masonville Starbucks.  You've brought some pretty awesome people into my life.

:)