Today was an awesome day.
I woke up and spent the morning and afternoon with my Dad. (sorry guys, but he's the best)
I spent the day running errands with him, and somehow between the two of us we were perpetually forgetting about some of the errands that we had intended on doing. We would go from point A to point C, and then remember that we had missed point B. Either way, we managed to get everything done, and it was an extremely well spent afternoon.
One thing that neither one of us took note of today was time. It was simple and refreshing. When we would remember that we'd forgotten to make our way to point B, we would just continue on, and make our way back whenever we could. I truly enjoyed his company, and I think he really enjoyed mine.
My Dad has an extremely relaxed personality. He's never in a rush unless he needs to be, he doesn't take life too seriously, and he has an incredible ability to use silence to get through his seemingly jam-packed work days.
After spending the the day with him, the point that I am trying to get at is, take time and use it to your advantage. Don't let it just pass you by while you're in a perpetual state of living in the future.
"What's next" isn't reality.
What is reality is the moment that you are living in.
I am guilty of letting some things in the future create anxiety in my present moment. Often, I am forced to remind myself and acknowledge that I can set goals, I can define my purpose, and then the only other thing that I can do is my best to achieve my goals, and fulfill my purpose. I can't just sit around an expect all of my goals to be achieved without my inner drive, and I can't expect my life to feel fulfilled by not working towards anything, but, I do believe that it is extremely important to take a step back sometimes, and embrace what we are doing in the present moment. Embrace that you are working towards an accomplishment, embrace the time you spend reflecting on the person that you are, embrace the time that you have with the ones you love; whether it be family, friends, pets, games, whatever it is for you.
I have realized this week more than ever how much I miss my family and friends. This visit home was extremely unplanned. I booked my ticket and within 24 hours I was in my hometown. I was in a sticky spot in London before I booked my ticket. My heart was saying "GO HOME" but my brain was saying "you can't afford to go home, you can't book the time off, you can't, you can't, you can't".... As afraid as I was to go into my work and explain that I needed a break, I knew I needed it. I felt like I was drowning myself in everything else, but I was not giving myself the attention that I knew I needed. Sadly, things often have to reach a breaking point before we create the change, but it is these life experiences that force us to appreciate and embrace the good things that are at the tip of our fingers.
I can recognize that this post is incredibly sporadic, but there were a few thoughts brewing in my noggin, and at nearly 2am, I did my best to get them out.
The main points I was trying to address are: Live in the present moment. Embrace the good things that you have and avoid taking them for granted. And, Don't forget to listen to yourself, if you're feeling something, listen to it; and take action, or no action depending on the situation..:)
Friday, 7 September 2012
Thursday, 6 September 2012
Is It Really Your Business? (Day 4)
For the past number of years in life, I have watched a few of my loved ones go through relationships that have been healthy, some not so healthy, and some somewhere in between.
At the end of the day, what have these relationships changed in my life?
Not a whole lot. Some have created some good times, and some have created periods of worry and distress. Either way, none of these relationships that I have seen have had a direct impact on my life for an extended period of time. Maybe this sounds harsh, but it is true. At the end of the day it is not about ME. Instead it is about THEM. We are all autonomous adults who are capable of making our own decisions. Just as I am capable of making my own decisions, others are too.
As long as the ones that I love are happy living the life that they consider to be fulfilling, then my opinion ultimately does not matter. I will say this again, but if the ones I love are happy and confident in the decisions they make, then my opinion remains as just that. If they're happy, then I am too.
Over the past number of years however, I have personally experienced criticism for some decisions that I have made. I have also seen some of my friends and family deal with criticism from the ones that supposedly love them for some of their decisions with regards to relationships.
Some criticism, granted. But I think a lot of people are missing the fact that it is really not their business. I have listened to others whine and complain about the relationships of others, but why? Is this relationship really worth it? Why are you bitching? If you're using the "but, I just hate seeing him/her do that to their life!" Stop. It is their life. They are capable to making their own choices and decisions. This is how we learn and evolve into the people that we are meant to be.
So the next time you catch yourself bitching and moaning about someone else's life ask yourself why? It is really your business?
At the end of the day, what have these relationships changed in my life?
Not a whole lot. Some have created some good times, and some have created periods of worry and distress. Either way, none of these relationships that I have seen have had a direct impact on my life for an extended period of time. Maybe this sounds harsh, but it is true. At the end of the day it is not about ME. Instead it is about THEM. We are all autonomous adults who are capable of making our own decisions. Just as I am capable of making my own decisions, others are too.
As long as the ones that I love are happy living the life that they consider to be fulfilling, then my opinion ultimately does not matter. I will say this again, but if the ones I love are happy and confident in the decisions they make, then my opinion remains as just that. If they're happy, then I am too.
Over the past number of years however, I have personally experienced criticism for some decisions that I have made. I have also seen some of my friends and family deal with criticism from the ones that supposedly love them for some of their decisions with regards to relationships.
Some criticism, granted. But I think a lot of people are missing the fact that it is really not their business. I have listened to others whine and complain about the relationships of others, but why? Is this relationship really worth it? Why are you bitching? If you're using the "but, I just hate seeing him/her do that to their life!" Stop. It is their life. They are capable to making their own choices and decisions. This is how we learn and evolve into the people that we are meant to be.
So the next time you catch yourself bitching and moaning about someone else's life ask yourself why? It is really your business?
Tuesday, 4 September 2012
Life is what we make of it.
Day 2 of this 30 day challenge, and I have to admit, I am excited.
I am pretty pumped about all of this.
Today has been an awesome day thus far. I woke up without an alarm, had some food and walked downtown. Being home is nice. Fredericton is a cute little spot.
For breakfast I had a melancholy of goods. I had some veggies, an egg, a few grapes, some nuts... Oh the beauty of visiting family and scoping out a new fridge.
I had a conversation this morning that solidified some things for me. I was talking about how I feel regarding certain areas of my life. I was discussing how some of these areas create anxiety and don't seem to add any value in my life. I was mentioning that I am planning on cutting out these parts of my life. Initially I got a reaction that was along the lines of "you're running away" from these things. For a quick moment a pit erupted in my gut. I felt weird. Moments later, I realized that NO, it is not a cop-out. Instead I am creating a life that I want. I am choosing to keep the good in my life and also choosing to rid of the bad.
We are allowed to be selective. What good are we to this world if we are perpetually feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled with our day to day activities?
With some explaining and an extended conversation, I felt like I was able to communicate my views.
Why should anyone live a life that is not fulfilling? Why should anyone continue doing the same day-to-day activities if no one is benefiting? Why should anyone lead a life that is full of stress and unhappiness to prove a point?
Well, that would not be Living. So no one should.
We are human, and we are all entitled to finding our purpose, to living a life that is full of passion, love and excitement. We are meant to continue growing and learning as individuals. We are meant to explore our minds and push our limits while maintaining integrity in the choices we make.
My purpose in life is to the the best version of me that I can be. I am still trying to find that defined purpose, but I do know that I am on the path.
Happy Tuesday :)
I am pretty pumped about all of this.
Today has been an awesome day thus far. I woke up without an alarm, had some food and walked downtown. Being home is nice. Fredericton is a cute little spot.
For breakfast I had a melancholy of goods. I had some veggies, an egg, a few grapes, some nuts... Oh the beauty of visiting family and scoping out a new fridge.
I had a conversation this morning that solidified some things for me. I was talking about how I feel regarding certain areas of my life. I was discussing how some of these areas create anxiety and don't seem to add any value in my life. I was mentioning that I am planning on cutting out these parts of my life. Initially I got a reaction that was along the lines of "you're running away" from these things. For a quick moment a pit erupted in my gut. I felt weird. Moments later, I realized that NO, it is not a cop-out. Instead I am creating a life that I want. I am choosing to keep the good in my life and also choosing to rid of the bad.
We are allowed to be selective. What good are we to this world if we are perpetually feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled with our day to day activities?
With some explaining and an extended conversation, I felt like I was able to communicate my views.
Why should anyone live a life that is not fulfilling? Why should anyone continue doing the same day-to-day activities if no one is benefiting? Why should anyone lead a life that is full of stress and unhappiness to prove a point?
Well, that would not be Living. So no one should.
We are human, and we are all entitled to finding our purpose, to living a life that is full of passion, love and excitement. We are meant to continue growing and learning as individuals. We are meant to explore our minds and push our limits while maintaining integrity in the choices we make.
My purpose in life is to the the best version of me that I can be. I am still trying to find that defined purpose, but I do know that I am on the path.
Happy Tuesday :)
Monday, 3 September 2012
Life By Design- 30 Day Challenge.. Count me in.
I have been MIA.. again.. Surprised? Well, you shouldn't be.
This is a long one, so be prepared...
The posts that will follow will not be this long, I just figured I'd offer a bit of a recap here.
I am back now though, and I am making the commitment to be here for at least the next 30 days.
Over the past year, I have been fortunate enough to cross paths with some pretty spectacular folks. The people that I am talking about specifically in this post are those who are Life By Design'ers...
I could go on and on about how wonderful these people are, and how much I love hearing about the way they lead such AWESOME LIVES! They have a purpose. I feel like they are helping me find mine.
One large component of Life By Design is "Eat By Design". and when I think back to the past couple of years of my life, I have been intuitively listening to my body, listening to my brain, recognizing what foods make me feel best and what foods make me feel tired, groggy, sad...
Without even knowing that this way of eating had a title, I adopted it. I think that is pretty cool. If we actually want to create change in our lives we have to listen to our bodies, we have to listen to the way we feel, and hone in on WHY we are feeling that way. After honing in, I realized that cutting out grains, cutting out sugar, cutting out dairy were all things that were contributing to a lower quality of life.
Now, here comes a bit of a back story about me. A little history lesson on Sandy.
This transition took me a long time of listening and addressing how I was feeling, and why. It all started when I was with my ex boyfriend in 2007. We ate junk food all the time, we watched movies all the time, we had enormous meals that were unhealthy... all the time. Surely.. this lead to the two of us gaining substantial amounts of weight. I put on a solid 30-40 lbs, and he matched that... and then some.
Things in our relationship started to go sour, he became depressed, and I felt like I was no longer desirable due to my weight gain.
I got a gym membership, and slowly... very slowly started to make some changes. I jumped from one fad-diet to the next... but then after countless attempts of trying to listen to what OTHERS said I should eat, I started listening to what SANDY should eat.
This was a long, hard battle. It was challenging at times. It led me to a few dark spots in my life. It led to some interesting relationships with food, and it led to an interesting relationship with myself and my physical body.
Growing up, I was always teased for being chubby, I was teased because I had a crooked smile, I was teased because I could eat more toast in the morning than my older brother. Moving into my early adulthood and trying to lose weight... I often went back to the feeling that I felt when I was a young girl. I felt embarrassed, I felt alone, and I felt extremely unhappy with my body.
It has been a bit of a roller coaster, and well, its only recently that I am able and willing to talk about it.
Over the past few years I have dealt with incredible amounts of criticism. Criticism from friends, family, and believe it or not, even strangers. People looking at me and asking WHY do you eat that way? Why won't you eat "Carbs"? Why? Why? Why?
For the first while, I would succumb to this. I would go ahead and eat it because I didn't want to seem.... anal. After a while, I realized that it was not worth it. When I would go ahead and eat things that I knew were not right for me, I would go home and suffer from it. I would feel tired, I would feel uncomfortable, and I was never happy with myself afterwards. So why continue doing it? Don't. Simple.
As with many of my previous posts, I have explained that this past year has been a pretty interesting year of my life. I have gone through a lot of transitions. Some more challenging than others, but all of which are leading to a life that is even MORE AWESOME.
Being in a committed relationship for so many years of my life, and then being single for an entire year of my life has allowed me to focus more on me, and learn to love myself a lot more than I ever thought possible. I am getting there. I am starting to be OK with my own company. Go figure.
Not only am I more OK with my own company, but I have also learned to make better choices with the people that I choose to keep in my life. I am allowed to take time for me, and not feel obligated to others at all times. It has been a refreshing year to say the least.
With regards to food, I eat what I want, when I want it. I eat real food. I enjoy real food. It makes me feel good.
Day 1 of the 30 Day Eat By Design challenge has begun. Over the next 30 Days I will do my best to be more technologically savvy and throw in some pictures of what I will be eating, and how I will be Thinking, and Moving By Design.
Oh Yeah- and Thank you Masonville Starbucks. You've brought some pretty awesome people into my life.
:)
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
Operation Awesome Thus Far..
Tuesday.
Terrific Tuesday. A day of realizations.
So I guess I can start off by a little recap of life. In general. What's been happening.
Maybe I will start with a check list..
Happiness-Check
Health-Check
Mental Well-being- Check
Confidence-Check
Learning to love myself- Check
Smiling Every day- Check
Laughing Out Loud- Check
Independence- Check
Good Friends- Check
I probably shouldn't say that today is a day of realizations... mainly because this entire year has been a revolutionary year, and to be honest, I could not be more thankful for what this past year has offered me.
I have worked through a few things. I am so thankful, and I am so happy. I finally feel like Sandy. I don't really know what else to say about that. I am learning so many things about me. I am learning that life always has an incredible way of working out. Life has an incredible way of making sense, and most of all, I am learning that thinking too much is also extremely unnecessary.
Being me is OK. Accepting that the world has a special way of doing things is actually incredible.
Energy. This is huge for me. I have become a pretty enormous believer in energy. What kind of energy am I giving off? What kind of energy am I taking from others? What kind of situations am I in that are energy- based? All the same, I believe that pretty much all situations are energy-based... but I think you have an idea of what I am saying.
One of the biggest contributing factors to my personal energy is over all health.
I realize now more than ever when I am treating my body the way it ought to be treated, it gives me a lot more freedom to be me in the world around me. Being me is far more natural when I am putting the right foods in my body, when I am working out the way that I know makes me feel best. When my body feels good, my brain is clear, when my brain is clear my energy soars. It brings the people that I want close, closer, and it allows me to disconnect from situations that are not beneficial.
OK.. NOW GET THIS. Another Realization.
IT IS TOTALLY OK TO NOT ALWAYS WANT TO BE AROUND EVERYONE. THAT IS OK!
I have also realized that I don't always have to be everyone else's rock. Don't get me wrong, I love being there for people. I love listening. I love helping others figure it out for themselves. BUT... I don't always have to do that. I have realized that I was getting myself into situations that were robbing me of my own energy, I would go home feeling... Empty... or people would leave my house, and I would be left with an overwhelming sense of emptiness and lack of fulfillment . Now, what has this realization done for me?
Most importantly, I have learned that at the end of the day, relying on yourself is extremely important. Relying on your own wants, needs and desires is incredibly refreshing. When I can wake up knowing that I am independent and completely capable without constant reassurance from others, my insides feel.... whole. Oh the beauty of writing it out..:)
It has helped me be more critical about the people that I choose to have in my life. It helped me realize that Sandy deserves to be surrounding herself with people who make her feel good. It has helped me realize that it is OK to be selfish sometimes. Wait. I don't call it selfish. I call it self-less and honestly, it is real-life. If I am not healthy mentally, physically, emotionally, then at the end of the day, I am absolutely NO GOOD to anyone else.
In order for me to be successful, in order for me to live my life to its fullest I need to take care of my roots. By my roots; I mean the rocks and the basis of my life... and what should be the basis of everyone's life really. Mental, Physical and Emotional Health. Without these needs being met, I am inevitably making my own life more challenging than it needs to be.
Life is not meant to be Hard. It's also not meant to be Easy. I think its meant to be a journey more or less. A journey with some hills to climb, and a journey with some valleys to coast down. I think its this is the way life is meant to be.
In order for anyone to experience a such a journey one must be open. One must be willing to accept that health is of utmost importance. One must be open to the concept of change. One must be authentic. One must realize that life is not black, its not white, it's a whole slew of gray. And those gray area's.. they're all OK.:)
That's all I've got.
Operation Awesome... continues..:)
Terrific Tuesday. A day of realizations.
So I guess I can start off by a little recap of life. In general. What's been happening.
Maybe I will start with a check list..
Happiness-Check
Health-Check
Mental Well-being- Check
Confidence-Check
Learning to love myself- Check
Smiling Every day- Check
Laughing Out Loud- Check
Independence- Check
Good Friends- Check
I probably shouldn't say that today is a day of realizations... mainly because this entire year has been a revolutionary year, and to be honest, I could not be more thankful for what this past year has offered me.
I have worked through a few things. I am so thankful, and I am so happy. I finally feel like Sandy. I don't really know what else to say about that. I am learning so many things about me. I am learning that life always has an incredible way of working out. Life has an incredible way of making sense, and most of all, I am learning that thinking too much is also extremely unnecessary.
Being me is OK. Accepting that the world has a special way of doing things is actually incredible.
Energy. This is huge for me. I have become a pretty enormous believer in energy. What kind of energy am I giving off? What kind of energy am I taking from others? What kind of situations am I in that are energy- based? All the same, I believe that pretty much all situations are energy-based... but I think you have an idea of what I am saying.
One of the biggest contributing factors to my personal energy is over all health.
I realize now more than ever when I am treating my body the way it ought to be treated, it gives me a lot more freedom to be me in the world around me. Being me is far more natural when I am putting the right foods in my body, when I am working out the way that I know makes me feel best. When my body feels good, my brain is clear, when my brain is clear my energy soars. It brings the people that I want close, closer, and it allows me to disconnect from situations that are not beneficial.
OK.. NOW GET THIS. Another Realization.
IT IS TOTALLY OK TO NOT ALWAYS WANT TO BE AROUND EVERYONE. THAT IS OK!
I have also realized that I don't always have to be everyone else's rock. Don't get me wrong, I love being there for people. I love listening. I love helping others figure it out for themselves. BUT... I don't always have to do that. I have realized that I was getting myself into situations that were robbing me of my own energy, I would go home feeling... Empty... or people would leave my house, and I would be left with an overwhelming sense of emptiness and lack of fulfillment . Now, what has this realization done for me?
Most importantly, I have learned that at the end of the day, relying on yourself is extremely important. Relying on your own wants, needs and desires is incredibly refreshing. When I can wake up knowing that I am independent and completely capable without constant reassurance from others, my insides feel.... whole. Oh the beauty of writing it out..:)
It has helped me be more critical about the people that I choose to have in my life. It helped me realize that Sandy deserves to be surrounding herself with people who make her feel good. It has helped me realize that it is OK to be selfish sometimes. Wait. I don't call it selfish. I call it self-less and honestly, it is real-life. If I am not healthy mentally, physically, emotionally, then at the end of the day, I am absolutely NO GOOD to anyone else.
In order for me to be successful, in order for me to live my life to its fullest I need to take care of my roots. By my roots; I mean the rocks and the basis of my life... and what should be the basis of everyone's life really. Mental, Physical and Emotional Health. Without these needs being met, I am inevitably making my own life more challenging than it needs to be.
Life is not meant to be Hard. It's also not meant to be Easy. I think its meant to be a journey more or less. A journey with some hills to climb, and a journey with some valleys to coast down. I think its this is the way life is meant to be.
In order for anyone to experience a such a journey one must be open. One must be willing to accept that health is of utmost importance. One must be open to the concept of change. One must be authentic. One must realize that life is not black, its not white, it's a whole slew of gray. And those gray area's.. they're all OK.:)
That's all I've got.
Operation Awesome... continues..:)
Thursday, 9 February 2012
No pictures, just thoughts.
So, I was not kidding when I said that my last post was the first in a while, and the next would surely take a while to appear as well.
Here goes.
Thoughts... OUT.
Since I have been living in London, I have managed to develop a sense of.... something. I am not entirely sure what this something is.. but allow me to explain.
Every day, I have some sort of a plan. Every day I know when I am waking up, when I am going to class, when I am going to study, when my next assignment is due, when my next group meeting is, I know what I am eating when I am heading to the gym, when I am going to get groceries, when I am going to make it to yoga, when and where I am volunteering for any of the four given commitments I have made.... and the list goes on and on and on. With so many things on the go, I have managed to lose a little piece of Sandy.
I have managed to lose the little part of me that can really relax. Let's not confuse that with embracing. I have managed to keep tabs on my ability to embrace what is happening in that specific moment... However, going back to my inability to relax... I'm not entirely sure how that makes me feel. Actually, yes.. I do. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel like a little part of me is missing. I know that this is all a part of the "university experience"... but... I think in the midst of midterms and studying and everything else.. my brain is becoming mushy and I am in need of some serious Sandy time.
To delve a little deeper into my thought process, I will continue on this tangent. As I stated previously.. I KNOW all of these things are going to happen, and I KNOW in what order they are going to happen, and for some reason, despite the chaos, I become somewhat OK with it all. What I am not so OK with is the studying/exam part of it all. I guess it creates so much unease for me because... well... I DON'T KNOW how its going to go. I don't know what I am going to be tested on. I do know that I have put in my best effort to KNOW the content, but I don't like the instability of NOT knowing, and that is just the icing on the cake when everything else seems to be ruling my life.
I don't think that makes me any different than any other student... but I guess this was just my way of coping with it all. Prior to writing this out, I was reading the same paragraph over and over again with a knot in my stomach not knowing what was happening inside. Writing it out helps. A lot.
On a positive note, I met with my academic counselor today. Relief. Graduation is in site. I could graduate earlier than December with a regular major's degree, but with the honors specialization at the tip of my fingers, it seems foolish to not stick it out.. I am here.. I might as well get it done... and well, that also brings me one step closer to getting my MPH...
Despite the extremely LONG route I have taken up until this point.. 3 universities later,almost 3 years off, and at least 20-25 "homes" in the past... 7 years.. I couldn't be more thankful. I am blessed to be where I am today. I have experienced things that I would never exchange for the world. I have met people that have taught me so much. I have loved and I have lost, and I have broken down and picked myself back up. Life is good. Appreciating what these moments have to offer is truly eye-opening.
At the beginning of this post.. I felt overwhelmed. I felt scared, and I felt.. vulnerable. I guess it is a good thing to feel vulnerable at times. It forces you to see the good. It forces you to open you eyes and appreciate the world of goodness that surrounds us. We could waste our time wallowing in our sorrows and living in fear. But at the end of the day.. what is the WORST possible thing that could happen? Chances are.. it is probably not that bad. If the worst possible thing happened.. then chances are.. it was meant to happen because you were meant to take a different route. At the end of the day, it always makes sense.. hindsight is always 20/20.
Wait, wait.
One more thing. When I asked "what is the worst possible thing that can happen.." I should have also stated the GREAT thing that come from EVERY scenario.
Life. Is. Good.
Here goes.
Thoughts... OUT.
Since I have been living in London, I have managed to develop a sense of.... something. I am not entirely sure what this something is.. but allow me to explain.
Every day, I have some sort of a plan. Every day I know when I am waking up, when I am going to class, when I am going to study, when my next assignment is due, when my next group meeting is, I know what I am eating when I am heading to the gym, when I am going to get groceries, when I am going to make it to yoga, when and where I am volunteering for any of the four given commitments I have made.... and the list goes on and on and on. With so many things on the go, I have managed to lose a little piece of Sandy.
I have managed to lose the little part of me that can really relax. Let's not confuse that with embracing. I have managed to keep tabs on my ability to embrace what is happening in that specific moment... However, going back to my inability to relax... I'm not entirely sure how that makes me feel. Actually, yes.. I do. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel like a little part of me is missing. I know that this is all a part of the "university experience"... but... I think in the midst of midterms and studying and everything else.. my brain is becoming mushy and I am in need of some serious Sandy time.
To delve a little deeper into my thought process, I will continue on this tangent. As I stated previously.. I KNOW all of these things are going to happen, and I KNOW in what order they are going to happen, and for some reason, despite the chaos, I become somewhat OK with it all. What I am not so OK with is the studying/exam part of it all. I guess it creates so much unease for me because... well... I DON'T KNOW how its going to go. I don't know what I am going to be tested on. I do know that I have put in my best effort to KNOW the content, but I don't like the instability of NOT knowing, and that is just the icing on the cake when everything else seems to be ruling my life.
I don't think that makes me any different than any other student... but I guess this was just my way of coping with it all. Prior to writing this out, I was reading the same paragraph over and over again with a knot in my stomach not knowing what was happening inside. Writing it out helps. A lot.
On a positive note, I met with my academic counselor today. Relief. Graduation is in site. I could graduate earlier than December with a regular major's degree, but with the honors specialization at the tip of my fingers, it seems foolish to not stick it out.. I am here.. I might as well get it done... and well, that also brings me one step closer to getting my MPH...
Despite the extremely LONG route I have taken up until this point.. 3 universities later,almost 3 years off, and at least 20-25 "homes" in the past... 7 years.. I couldn't be more thankful. I am blessed to be where I am today. I have experienced things that I would never exchange for the world. I have met people that have taught me so much. I have loved and I have lost, and I have broken down and picked myself back up. Life is good. Appreciating what these moments have to offer is truly eye-opening.
At the beginning of this post.. I felt overwhelmed. I felt scared, and I felt.. vulnerable. I guess it is a good thing to feel vulnerable at times. It forces you to see the good. It forces you to open you eyes and appreciate the world of goodness that surrounds us. We could waste our time wallowing in our sorrows and living in fear. But at the end of the day.. what is the WORST possible thing that could happen? Chances are.. it is probably not that bad. If the worst possible thing happened.. then chances are.. it was meant to happen because you were meant to take a different route. At the end of the day, it always makes sense.. hindsight is always 20/20.
Wait, wait.
One more thing. When I asked "what is the worst possible thing that can happen.." I should have also stated the GREAT thing that come from EVERY scenario.
Life. Is. Good.
Saturday, 14 January 2012
Fear, Clarity and Happiness lie solely in the paradigms in which we choose...
Hello All,
OK, so yes, it's been a while since I have posted.. and lets be honest, there's a slight chance that the next post may take a while to come up... but.. I do this at my leisure, and to be honest, I haven't been spending much time in front of my computer screen, or "leisuring" for that matter... (yes, I know that's not a word..)
Maybe I fibbed I bit. I could have made time to write, but instead I chose to be more socially-engaged in my short trip home to Fredericton, and another glorious trip to St John's NL... I was taking part in activities that did not include me being solitary staring at my computer screen in silence of any amount of time. The people, the feelings, the "doing anything and nothing" with the ones I care about was far more appealing than zoning out into cyber space.
The lack of writing does not mean that there has been a lack of thought process. To be completely honest, I have a million and one little posts that I have started, but with so many distractions... my brain managed to get too caught up in too many thoughts that I just put them aside. This evening, I deleted all of them with a new plan.
I plan to write more clearly, concisely, and with one specific point. This post is clearly about being more clear. How about I say the word "clear" once more?
I feel as though clarity is something that we all seek, and we all strive for; but in all honesty, when are our day to day activities purely black and white? When do we accept that the grey areas in life are actually full of opportunity, and when the clarity does arise in hindsight, it makes you wonder why you were ever concerned with the grey area in the first place.
I suppose I could make this a little more personal as opposed to speaking metaphorically about my life in colors. Sometimes... I become fearful. I am fearful that I may fail, I am fearful that I am making the wrong decisions, I am fearful that I hold myself back from great opportunities, and all in all, I am fearful of being... fearful. I am making myself sound like a really big "scaredy cat"... but I am not really THAT bad.
I am actually a relatively fearless person when it comes to many aspects of life... the biggest factor of fear for me lies in the future. Spontaneity should probably be my middle name, but I guess I am at a point in my life where I am trying to find a more clear picture of what my life is going to entail... which is evidently the scariest part of it all for me.
Tonight I am going to focus solely on my fear of failing, and what is ideal to me. Maybe it will help you solidify your thoughts about what is ideal to you...:)
I am afraid at times that my degree is not going to get me to the "ideal" place in life... but as I am writing this, I am realizing more and more that there is no ideal.. Is there?
I suppose "ideal" has a completely different meaning for each and every individual. What may be "ideal" to me, may quite possibly be the biggest nightmare for you.
Ideally my life would consist of helping people. It would consist of an enormous amount of interaction. Ideally this interaction would entail me listening, and helping others have a better understanding of themselves. I most definitely realize that I could have a career where I "tell" people what to do with regards to their health, their wellness, their fitness and everything else under the sun, but instead I want to help them figure it out for themselves. I want others to realize how wonderful they can be, how great they can feel inside and out, how beautiful they are as intellectual beings, and above all, I suppose I just want to make a difference.
When you take a look at yourself... the biggest feats that you have overcome are more than likely those obstacles that you have WANTED to overcome. The strength came from within. The motivation came from within. Your desire, your drive, your passion all came from within. So when I say I want to help others have a better understanding of themselves, that is exactly what I am saying. I want to help others FIND it within themselves. At the end of the day, if I am able to make others realize their happiness, I consider that to be a job well-done... ie. IDEAL.
As humans we often relate everyone in the entire universe to OURSELVES... but in reality, everyone else in the entire universe are individuals.. just like you and me. Each individual possesses individual traits, and no two people should be compared. What one may love, another may hate. What may make one laugh, may make another cry. What may make one angry, may make another happy. I could go on for days, but you get what I am saying. So, why not let individuals seek their own route to happiness and fulfillment? Why not help them pave the road instead of potentially driving them in the other direction?
Now back to the failing part of it all. I realize that in every aspect of life there is the opportunity to fail. Notice I said opportunity to fail. WOW. I need to write more often. Epiphany. Failing can be seen as failing, but it can also be seen as opportunity. We have all heard of the saying "when one door closes, another one opens." So, maybe this is the time for me to bring this fear of failing to a complete halt. YES. You should too..:)
By writing this tonight, I have managed to put myself at ease, I have managed to answer some of my own questions. Maybe I should be a little more consistent with this writing thing. Perhaps I will commit to writing at least one post a week.
First resolution of 2012- Write More.
Operation Awesome continues.
OK, so yes, it's been a while since I have posted.. and lets be honest, there's a slight chance that the next post may take a while to come up... but.. I do this at my leisure, and to be honest, I haven't been spending much time in front of my computer screen, or "leisuring" for that matter... (yes, I know that's not a word..)
Maybe I fibbed I bit. I could have made time to write, but instead I chose to be more socially-engaged in my short trip home to Fredericton, and another glorious trip to St John's NL... I was taking part in activities that did not include me being solitary staring at my computer screen in silence of any amount of time. The people, the feelings, the "doing anything and nothing" with the ones I care about was far more appealing than zoning out into cyber space.
The lack of writing does not mean that there has been a lack of thought process. To be completely honest, I have a million and one little posts that I have started, but with so many distractions... my brain managed to get too caught up in too many thoughts that I just put them aside. This evening, I deleted all of them with a new plan.
I plan to write more clearly, concisely, and with one specific point. This post is clearly about being more clear. How about I say the word "clear" once more?
I feel as though clarity is something that we all seek, and we all strive for; but in all honesty, when are our day to day activities purely black and white? When do we accept that the grey areas in life are actually full of opportunity, and when the clarity does arise in hindsight, it makes you wonder why you were ever concerned with the grey area in the first place.
I suppose I could make this a little more personal as opposed to speaking metaphorically about my life in colors. Sometimes... I become fearful. I am fearful that I may fail, I am fearful that I am making the wrong decisions, I am fearful that I hold myself back from great opportunities, and all in all, I am fearful of being... fearful. I am making myself sound like a really big "scaredy cat"... but I am not really THAT bad.
I am actually a relatively fearless person when it comes to many aspects of life... the biggest factor of fear for me lies in the future. Spontaneity should probably be my middle name, but I guess I am at a point in my life where I am trying to find a more clear picture of what my life is going to entail... which is evidently the scariest part of it all for me.
Tonight I am going to focus solely on my fear of failing, and what is ideal to me. Maybe it will help you solidify your thoughts about what is ideal to you...:)
I am afraid at times that my degree is not going to get me to the "ideal" place in life... but as I am writing this, I am realizing more and more that there is no ideal.. Is there?
I suppose "ideal" has a completely different meaning for each and every individual. What may be "ideal" to me, may quite possibly be the biggest nightmare for you.
Ideally my life would consist of helping people. It would consist of an enormous amount of interaction. Ideally this interaction would entail me listening, and helping others have a better understanding of themselves. I most definitely realize that I could have a career where I "tell" people what to do with regards to their health, their wellness, their fitness and everything else under the sun, but instead I want to help them figure it out for themselves. I want others to realize how wonderful they can be, how great they can feel inside and out, how beautiful they are as intellectual beings, and above all, I suppose I just want to make a difference.
When you take a look at yourself... the biggest feats that you have overcome are more than likely those obstacles that you have WANTED to overcome. The strength came from within. The motivation came from within. Your desire, your drive, your passion all came from within. So when I say I want to help others have a better understanding of themselves, that is exactly what I am saying. I want to help others FIND it within themselves. At the end of the day, if I am able to make others realize their happiness, I consider that to be a job well-done... ie. IDEAL.
As humans we often relate everyone in the entire universe to OURSELVES... but in reality, everyone else in the entire universe are individuals.. just like you and me. Each individual possesses individual traits, and no two people should be compared. What one may love, another may hate. What may make one laugh, may make another cry. What may make one angry, may make another happy. I could go on for days, but you get what I am saying. So, why not let individuals seek their own route to happiness and fulfillment? Why not help them pave the road instead of potentially driving them in the other direction?
This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. ~George Bernard Shaw
By writing this tonight, I have managed to put myself at ease, I have managed to answer some of my own questions. Maybe I should be a little more consistent with this writing thing. Perhaps I will commit to writing at least one post a week.
First resolution of 2012- Write More.
Operation Awesome continues.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)